Q: Can I really order chickens with superpowers from you?
A: Absolutely not. Whatever gave you that idea?
Q: Then why do you have a website? And an email address? What’s going on here???
A: May I refer you to this highly entertaining and COMPLETELY FICTIONAL novel: Are You Ready to Hatch an Unusual Chicken? (Honestly, do you really believe everything you read?)
Q: I don’t believe you. I know about the Unusual Poultry Committee, and I’m ready to become an apprentice. I want chickens with superpowers too!
A: If you really know about the Unusual Poultry Committee, then the Unusual Poultry Committee knows about you, too. You will have the best possible chance of being selected for an apprenticeship by learning to take care of regular poultry. Prove yourself responsible, grow your skills by reading, researching, and talking to other poultry farmers, and then…we’ll see.
Q: I have my Unusual Poultry certificate, but I lost the secret instructions for accessing your poultry catalog. Help!
A: Please email Hortensia. (Come on, did you really think we were going to publish the secret instructions in our FAQ??)